My Rainbow Babies
A rainbow baby, by definition, is a baby that is born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss of an infant.
This is my story. It is very real and personal. I have two beautiful healthy rainbow baby girls. Every time I look at them, I realize how lucky I am to have them in my life. Not to say that any parent wouldn't feel this way about their children, but after experiencing losses along the way, my daughters are proof to me that miracles happen.
My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage. All of the feelings of excitement, realizing that my husband and I were going to become parents for the first time, had been shattered. We were both devastated. My initial thought was something must be wrong with me. I felt ashamed and didn't want to tell anyone about it. I soon realized how common they are and that I was not alone.
My second pregnancy was like a dream, and my beautiful, healthy daughter was born. When my daughter was 6 months old, I got pregnant for a third time. We found out we were having a boy, and boy did he kick like crazy in my belly. I have tears running down my face, as I mentioned before that my rainbow babies are girls. My son was born at 38 weeks by emergency c-section and only lived for two days. He was the most precious baby boy I had ever seen. He had lost almost 90% of his blood into me, or also known as an acute fetal maternal hemorrhage. The chances of it happening is less than 1%. There is no known cause. Everything with the pregnancy was textbook, up until when my water broke. I will never know or understand why it happened, only that God had his own plans for him and for us.
My husband and I were hopeful to have another healthy baby. A year and a half after having my son, I got pregnant again. This was my fourth pregnancy that resulted in my second miscarriage. It literally felt like the storm clouds were never going away, but what gave me strength was my living, breathing, healthy rainbow baby girl. I would look at her and tell myself over and over that there is hope to have another one.
I got pregnant for the fifth time, knowing I only had one living child at home. It was probably the most anxious nine months of my life. In June, 2018 I had my second healthy rainbow baby girl. She is the sweetest and happiest baby and I truly feel like she was hand-picked for us.
Everyone has their story and this is mine. I am a mother who knows what it feels like to go through the worst of storms and yet experience the pure joy of seeing beautiful rainbows in the end. I am guilty for having felt ashamed of what happened to me. But one thing I know for certain is that I am not alone. Rainbow Babies, LLC was created to not only bring more awareness to pregnancy and infant loss, but also to show the significance of a rainbow baby. I was surprised to learn how many people are not even familiar with what a rainbow baby is. These babies are little miracles and should be celebrated!